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5 Key Lessons from “Becoming Flawesome” (Book Summary)



becoming flawesome review summary amazon

Most people believe that their flaws are the negative aspects of their personality that make them imperfect. They think that getting rid of their flaws can lead them to perfection. They also believe that happiness, satisfaction, and inner peace are bound to perfection. In other words, they glorify perfectionism and resent imperfection. I was also one of them until I read the book “Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Life” by Kristina Mand-Lakhiani.

Reading this book proved to be a thought-changing experience for me as I have learned that embracing your flaws can make you flawesome (A word combination of “flaws” and “Awesome”). The writer has focused on making your weaknesses your most significant power and using them to live an authentic, happy, and satisfied life.

Becoming Flawesome” has changed my thinking about perfectionism. It teaches that your flaws are the core elements of your personality that make you what you’re in a true sense. The central idea of this book is to overcome perfectionism, find your lost “self,” and learn how to live flawesomely.

While this book is full of meaningful lessons, I picked five key lessons that I consider the most effective in helping you become flawesome and bring authenticity to your life.

Lesson #1 – Perfectionism is nothing but a burden in your life

Most people believe that perfectionism is the only way to live a great life, but Kristina has a contrary point of view on that. She has used the metaphor “Hermione Syndrome” in the book to explain how perfectionism is a terrible burden in your life. Hermione is one of Harry Potter’s friends overwhelmed by the idea of being perfect. In the movie series, she tries to do everything right, be logical, and stay on top of everyone to achieve perfection, yet she is deprived of satisfaction. Kristina believes she does so to be what people want to see her – a perfect, flawless girl.

The “Hermione Syndrome” metaphor perfectly fits everyone who wants to be seen as flawless. Striving to become flawless is not a problem as it helps you to become a better version of yourself, but doing so without accepting your current version can trap you in the mirror of perfectionism.

Once the idea of perfectionism overtakes your thinking, you start striving to become someone who doesn’t have flaws rather than a real “you,” and it may prove a hurdle between you and lasting happiness, peace, and fulfillment. That’s why perfectionism is nothing but a burden in your life.

Lesson #2 – Be honest with yourself and find your own truth

Being honest with yourself is the first step towards being authentic. You must find your truth and stand by it even if it hurts you. Kristina believes that a person not aware of their truth cannot bring transformation in their life. Everyone has their own truth that can only be found by themselves. One can only encourage you to find your truth as at one point Kristina has written:

“You should know that I am not going to tell you the truth you’re seeking. It won’t come from me. Your truth is your truth, and my truth is mine.”

Kristina has used “dragons” hiding in the basement of a beautiful building as a metaphor to explain to readers how to find their hidden truth. These dragons are ignored for a long time. All you have to do is to gather courage, take a flashlight and go into your basement to find them. You will need to look into the eyes of these dragons to make your fear disappear. Your transformation towards authenticity starts once you face your dragons (truth) without any fear.

Lesson #3 – The art of imperfection is your way to a good, happy, and authentic life

The art of imperfection is all about accepting your flaws, stopping comparing yourself with others, and celebrating who you’re. We have worn many social, behavioral, and professional masks that hide our true “self.” Such as Kristina has written at a point while referring to her favorite mask:

“Mine (mask) is the Good Girl. Friendly, polite, lively, positive, smart, and absolutely happy.”

Taking these masks off reveals your true personality, and that’s what the art of imperfection teaches us.

Lesson #4 – You should be your only critic

Kristina strongly believes that the only person whose criticism should matter to you is “you.” You should be your only critic. Don’t let criticism from others impact your personality, way of life, and preferences. You shouldn’t fear rejection from others as long you accept and admire yourself.

In reality, it’s you who makes yourself acceptable or rejectable. The world shouldn’t have the right to do this to you.

Lesson #5 – Transformation happens one step at a time

Whether it’s switching to authenticity, finding your truth, adopting the art of imperfection, or becoming flawesome, the transformation doesn’t happen abruptly. It requires you to take one step at a time. There’s no need to rush, as it only makes things worse. Your first step should be aware of your current version. Once you recognize yourself in a true sense, you can move on to the next step, which can be finding your truth. Do be worried or depressed if a step takes time, as you’re not the only one facing it. Kristina writes in the book that it took him years to figure out a very simple truth that a person who doesn’t know walking cannot be made to climb a tree. So, learn how to walk first and then move on to climbing a tree.

Final Thoughts

Honestly, it’s a little bit difficult to summarize this comprehensive book about living flawesomely in a few words. However, you can take it as a way to reveal your true identity, embrace your truth and flaws, and relieve yourself from all kinds of artificial complexities depriving you of happiness and authenticity. This book can be your guide towards becoming a person that you like, not others.


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