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A Man’s Guide to Regaining Self-Confidence

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A Man’s Guide to Regaining Self-Confidence

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Even those you would assume to be confident (such as famous celebrities) have moments of low self confidence: the belief in personal decision-making and judgment that enables us to make decisions and to keep moving forward in life. Self confidence tends to be confused with other related terms:

  • Self esteem: Evaluation of self worth based on external factors (while these can be helpful, true self-confidence starts from within).
  • Self concept: The beliefs that build up the “picture” you have of yourself.
  • Self awareness: Assessing what you can change, such as your own behaviors and actions, versus what you cannot, such as the reactions of others, in a non-judgemental way.
  • Self compassion: The belief that it’s important to own our mistakes and make positive changes, and that we are all inherently worthy of love and care.

How it Affects Men

Men tend to be less affected by low self confidence than other social groups, though this depends on other factors such as race and financial status. However, they are also impacted by toxic masculinity, which can affect confidence and lead to the following:

  • Suppressed emotions and subsequent mental health issues.
  • A lack of sexual confidence: this can be addressed through learning about intimacy and communication with your partner and by speaking with your doctor about therapy and medications such as cialis for erectile dysfunction.
  • Abusive or or domineering behaviors to feel more control.

Personality traits are genderless: those traditionally described as “feminine” (such as vulnerability and compassion) often hold the key to greater self-confidence.

Authenticity and Goal Setting

Rather than oversharing, authentic self confidence evolves from being true to yourself and living by your core values, rather than pursuing goals simply because you think you should. In the pursuit of goals, it can be easy to lose sight of past achievements, so take stock of these. If you can’t think of any, use this article as an example of a positive step you are taking, right now.

Embracing Uncertainty

Healthy risk taking involves staying curious, open minded and trusting of your existing abilities, while being able to treat mistakes as a learning opportunity and releasing the need to be right.

Negative Messages

No-one is born with low-self confidence, but throughout our lives we internalize negative messages. This can come from various sources, including:

  • Toxic relationships: When people project their own insecurities onto you, it’s important to set clear boundaries. If these are disregarded, it may be time to walk away.
  • Social and other forms of media: carefully edited and curated “aspirational” images of what we should look like and how we should live are not the whole picture, so use discernment and take regular screen breaks to engage with reality.

Social Skills

Social anxiety often stems from over focusing on yourself. Active listening, effective communication skills and having a genuine curiosity about others can help relieve social pressure and increase confidence.

If you are struggling, talking with a therapist can help. Remember the goal is not to “fix” anything: you were never broken, and you are capable of making positive changes.

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